Thursday, September 27, 2007

The wedding I blew off

I have a confession to make. No, I didn't stand up anyone at the altar -- I'm not that kind of guy.

But this is a part of my past that I haven't felt comfortable talking about until now.

My parents were good friends with another couple. So good that when their firstborn son was born they named Mom and Dad as godparents -- and my parents returned the favour when I came along nine months later. Our families got along quite well, and we visited each other quite often. More often it was us visiting their place -- they always had a nicer home than we did.

Of course, us guys grew up. Then my parents broke up and for a while we kind of lost contact -- until my mother's funeral. Then, a few months after, I received a wedding invitation from that now grown up man to his wedding; as well as my extended family. My father accepted. So did my cousins. I declined, respectfully.

I knew why he invited me. It was out of respect to his late godmother. At the time, I told him the reason I declined was because it was too soon after my mother's death and thought it would be disrespectful to her -- after all she was very fond of him. But that wasn't the truth.

The real reason was I didn't want to jinx him. Weddings are supposed to be a celebration, not a place to grind axes. And, for what it was worth, I had a lot -- with both my parents. But more importantly, because my parents were divorced, I honestly thought my presence would doom the happy couple. I also knew that, my father being there, he'd gladly boast that God was on his side because my mother was dead and he was still alive -- right in front of the couple's face. He still believes that, as a matter of fact. I didn't want to dignify that -- then or now.

Far as I know, the couple are still together. And my cousins told me later I missed a great wedding and reception. But I just felt that being there would not have been appropriate.

So if you are that groom, and if you're reading this, I want to say I'm sorry I didn't level with you. And I hope that you won't hold it against me.

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