Friday, March 6, 2009

How to write the cv of John Tory

John Tory is almost certainly going to quit today, as leader of the Ontario PC Party. A history of this man's remarkable career:

1. After graduating from the private University of Toronto Schools, a private high school connected to the U of T, hired by Rogers Communications. Moonlights as a journalist for CFTR (then a Top 40 station, now 680 News) while earning law degree from York University's Osgoode Hall.

2. After a stint in the last term of Bill Davis' "Big Blue Machine," is retained by Mulroney on acid rain issue, his work leads to new treaty with the US.

3. Runs Kim Campbell's disastrous 1993 election campaign, the brain behind infamous "funny face" ads that ridiculed Jean Chrétien for having Bell's palsy; knowing full well that many celebrities have suffered the affliction -- Pierce Brosnan, George Clooney, Jane Greer, Curtis LeMay, Gordon Lightfoot, Ralph Nader, Jim Ross -- and that it is not funny at all.

4. Returns to Rogers. Brain behind controversial "negative option billing" campaign that leads to record cancellations of subscriptions and a flock to satellite TV.

5. Runs the CFL. No comment.

6. Challenges David Miller for Toronto mayoralty. Finishes in a strong second place. Helps to pay debts of Miller and the far trailing third place finisher, Barbara Hall, as a good sport.

7. Becomes leader of Ontario Tories. Parachutes into safest possible seat, the one held by outgoing leader Ernie Eves, wins.

8. At general election of 2007, decides to pass up on rerunning in safe seat and runs in hotly contested seat in Toronto. Loses by 11%.

9. Runs party from gallery, until supposedly "safe" seat northeast of Peterborough opens up. Runs, loses by 900 seats.

If this was the resumé I was presented with for a job offer ... I'd tell Tory, okay, there's some good you did there, but you were an idiot in a lot of other respects; so get some humble pie and for a change work in the coke ovens or in a call centre, like REAL people do.

I think there should be a rule: Anyone who went to private school should not be allowed into politics, period. Ordinary people -- those of who went to real schools -- are a lot smarter, and would run the country and businesses better, if the tables were turned and it was the "old boys and girls" who had to work the factories from the shop floor and not the board rooms for a change.

Ta Ta, John. We hardly knew ye even though you've been in our faces for 30 years.

UPDATE (8:42 am, 1342 GMT): Earlier I said Mel Lastman ... of course, it was David Miller as a commenter pointed out.

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Goldenhawk said...

I think you mean David Miller, not Mel Lastman.

BlastFurnace said...

Tee hee ... you're right! I'll make the correction.